McPherson, Dec. 29th, 1939
You write that the first Quakers have not asked nor searched, but traded. But we are not the first Quakers, in us or at least in me there exists no trust in a leading power, I cannot go blindly. I first have to seek and find; why should I dash into the ocean, of which other side I cannot see, if I don't know if the shore is at all reachable, or if it even exists? Maybe the first Quakers, or Jesus or others have really seen the other side, either in spirit or in reality. But I don't see it, neither in spirit nor in reality, and I believe you don't see it either. Let us build a binocular, and look to the other side, let us first see and recognize as much of the world and its laws before we dash into the unknown. It doesn't have to be unkown then; it will be uncertain as well if we still have the strength to reach the shore. But we need to know if the other side exists, and also if it is the correct side, because doubts would destroy any strength. The first Quakers knew that it was the right shore, and they knew where it was, therefore they didn't need ' binoculars', but we who don't know, have to first seek in order to find.
I can understand your doubts about your work; I would probably feel similarly. Why do you believe that you have to give up your personal things? Will you not be able to fulfill your work properly? I believe personal things are more important to you than work. You cannot bloom in unspiritual work, and that would also be unfortunate for you. Why shouldn't you read, attend the group and commit to other spiritual things? Is work then so all important, that it should require such sacrifice? I don't know which work it would be, maybe I have a wrong understanding. Can you write me how your day to day is going, how your life is? What is the group doing? I imagine it very hard and sad to be in the group these days, when one knew how it used to be and what they used to do. What are some of the individuals doing? Werner, Arno?
Here, things are going well as much as is possible. I already feel very much at home. I have found nice people and I try -thank God in vain- to Americanize myself. I enjoy the studies a lot; now at the beginning I have a lot to do, because I have to make up everything until January when I have exams. But the work is appropriate for me and I enjoy it.
Please write me soon again, and greet Berlin and the people of Berlin!