Letter from Opa to Grandmother
September 21, 1943
Listen here, you midwestern chick,
If I would take time to properly answer and repudiate all of those infamous insinuations in your last letter, I would probably still be writing by the time you get back. in that case, I would not have the strength to give you the beating you deserve. For that reason, and for that reason only, I shall limit myself to some of the more important ones. In the first place, I did not apply for membership in the L.H.&G.D.C.Inc. I am neither a gold digger nor a lonely heart nor do I want to be either one; I am, in the contrary, a member of the opposition, i.e. I am a "Lonely Digger after a Golden Heart." I hope you get the difference. My pedigree dates not only back to Moses, but it goes deeper than that, it goes back to Moses' daddy, whoever that was. I am not member of the demopublican party, since I am a strongly convinced Repucrat. I receive six quarts of the milk of human kindness in the required amount of time, but I shall never become a member of a club which permits its members to drink cokes. As to inspectors......(oh boy!!)...
I am glad there is a member in your office who would be more interested in the representative we send to the library; that this person is interested in no less than the librarian, however, worries me, especially since said creature is married. (and has two brats, one 13, the other one 6) By the way, I did talk to the librarian about it today; chances are poor, though, since they prefer to take underclassmen, whom they can keep for a longer period of time. It will depend mainly on whether they have any choice in the matter.
Two weeks ago, I lost a filling in one of my teeth, and now that tooth starts telling me about it. Don't you happen to know a dentist who (a) don't charge nothin', (b) ain't too bad, and (c) don't hoit? If you do, tell him he's got a customer.
Johnny, that boy from Germany I wrote you about, is just here and gives you his regards. He is trying to have me join his business, i.e. making Kodak finishes and printing for drugstores etc. Think I should? it would be on a 50/50 basis, but would take plenty of my oh, so precious time. I guess I wait and see how much money I shall make otherwise.
Well, 138 more hours!
I feel like I'm watching the slow, steady Americanization of Opa. He gets sillier by the day. It's endearing, but I know the serious side of him is still in there. I'm grateful he got this escape, to feel the joy of love and flirtation.
And now I get to comment on something totally random but - who WAS Moses' father?? Opa is riding on the happy cloud of Grandmother's soon arrival back to school, when he will finally get to see her again after some hard conversations over letters, and after watching from a distance whether her ex-fiance will win her back or not. He's ready to have her back home!
Opa needs a dentist, and his description of the requirements he had for a dentist made me laugh out loud, specifically because of the last line. "don't hoit?" First, the translation: don't hurt. Second - the main reason why it made me laugh out loud is because I suddenly heard my Dad saying hurt that way- and I couldn't give you one specific example of when he said it, but as soon as I read that line by Opa, I had a distinct vision of my dad smirking and saying "it don't hoit!" It's fun and weird to find your own Dad lurking in the words of his father years before he was born.
Opa is still trying to figure out how to make an extra buck, and it's hilarious how many enterprising endeavors he is considering. I hope he gets a steady job (what ever happened to the physics department?) and doesn't have to nickel and dime his way, but he seems willing to do whatever it takes.
Opa's only counting the hours for his lovely lady to come home. 138 more hours till she returns. He really is a "lonely digger after a golden heart."