August 17, 1941: Mothering

Letter from Ella to Opa

Translation:

Berlin Charl. Aug, 1941

Droysenstrasse 14

My very beloved boy,

I started writing to you on August 4th, because of my great longing for you, but I managed only a few words, because I was paralyzing tired. I did not want to be at home on that day, had asked the relatives not to come, but still many came, all the others appeared off and on during the week. It was sheer torture in my present situation, and not being with you. One good thing: Aunt Bertha was with me, she came on the 3rd and left again day before yesterday. I feel closer to her than to any relative, she understands me and loves both of you very much.  

Stiers are not living here since the 12th, you are correct, it was impossible, we lived in two different worlds, and as I wrote to you before, it did not work out. We live and talk to each other, but there is no real connection. Sadly enough I have not found more pupils, we are still on school holiday, and because of the "stop" on emigration, all learning enthusiasm slowed down, it is an unfavorable time for lessons. But I do have some prospects for lessons. Right now I still  have some money, and if I get back the one I leant out, and my claims to former students are paid to me, I will be fine till Jan./Febr. I really hope I will have enough work to get through this.

  

Henschenboy, I don't see my ability to emigrate as negatively as you do. I don't leave any close relatives behind. First Stiers are not close to me, don't belong to my household, secondly they surely will go over before me. My 2 children are gone, I am alone. But you must go after things with great energy, at the State Department in Washington from where all (rest of the sentence unreadable) I will get the terms (requirements)and send it to you right away. Perhaps you could present it in person.  

Today 2 letters from you arrived, of July 31st and August 3rd,with those nice pictures.  It had been such a long time without news from you. If you would know how longingly I wait for letters, you would write more often.  But I also left you without news for 2 weeks again, that is wrong of me as well. At the same time, I think of both of you all day long, and wish to be with you.  

Henschen, you look awfully skinny in those pictures. Are you feeling well? Please reply to this truthfully. Have you had another checkup? Why can't I be with you, take care of you? I am glad, that you have work that satisfies and pays enough for your studies. Yes, my boy, you are correct not to want to borrow money, but if you have to interrupt your studies, that would not be good either. Perhaps ways can be found, at least this semester is secured.

(line not legible)

In your last letter you did not write anything about it. The mail carrier in any case looked very trustworthy. I will send this letter to McPherson, then in a few days I will write to the address in Manhattan. Yesterday I went to see Loewes, they had been on vacation for a few weeks, it was really nice. This afternoon Heini came by, he wanted to get an English book, and we spoke about his work, a drama and novel. The novel is still in the making, for a contest in his school, for the best novel about the "Hugenots" written in French, for the "Hugenot" prize. Heini is a smart, gifted boy, and is losing his need for admiration more and more, is growing older and more understanding.

Henschenboy, I can imagine that the departure from McPherson won't be easy for you. You had a nice time there. But things of value there, stay with you, have to worked in you, and you have to be just as brave in Manhattan. Do your duty, and always live and act to be responsible to yourself. I trust you completely, your character and abilities.

I kiss my boy

Your Mama

One of my readers commented on a previous letter from Ella that he always feels a little sorry for Opa when he reads Ella's letters. This letter won't help that feeling. 

I'm caught between my love and understanding of Ella and mu sympathy for Opa. To be sure, Ella's situation is the most dire, so I give her a little more credit. Not to minimize the pressure that Opa is under, but in a way Opa is afforded the daily escapes of student life and freedom in America. Ella does not get such escapes. In fact, even celebrating her birthday (which was August 4th) is painful. She is annoyed by all the people who came to bid her happy birthday. I kind of love this about her. She is the kindest, nicest person and she just wants to be left alone. Ha! I think honestly her desire to be left alone is because it takes so much energy for her to be hospitable and pretend that everything is ok when things are really not ok. She's a proud woman, she doesn't want pity, she doesn't want to lean too hard on anyone. She also needs her space to be sad. 

I almost laughed out loud when she said she received Opa's letters from July 31st and August 3rd and then said that if he knew how much she loved his letter he would write more often. He wrote two letters in one week and it was still not enough. Of course she admits her own failures in writing regularly, but oh man. Poor Opa. 

The Stiers are Ella's sister and brother in law. They lived with her while they were waiting for their visa to come in (they sold everything including their flat to fund their trip out of Germany). This was obviously a bad situation, as it seems that Ella and Martha and Erich were just not meant to share a home. Martha and Erich are the parents of Ellenruth, the person Ella keeps telling Opa to write or meet up with.

Ella breaks my heart when she tells Opa that she remains optimistic about her ability to emigrate. I can tell Opa tried to tell her that it was a near impossibility at this point. She will not accept that. She does not consider Martha to be a close relative (perhaps she is alluding to the rule that German immigrants can't leave behind family members). She seems to be under the impression that Opa can march into Washington with all the right paperwork and get her in. Or perhaps she is just desperate that he try anything. I don't know if she is familiar with US geography, but Kansas is not close to Washington D.C. The fact that she is suggesting he personally hand in her material to me is telling of just how desperate she is. 

So just in case Opa wasn't feeling mothered enough- Ella expresses her concerns that he is too thin.

Honestly, I think Ella is trying to make up for years of hands-on mothering that she feels she has missed out on. Whether it frustrates 21 year old Opa or not is up for grabs, but I wonder if he looked at these letters later with fondness for such a clear and tangible example of his mother, mothering.

August 10, 15, 20, 1941: People Change

Letter from Opa to Marjorie Schauffler of AFSC

Transcription:

Thomas Doeppner   McPherson, August 10, 1941.

McPherson College Kansas

Mrs. Marjorie Schauffler

American Friends Service Committee

20 S. 12th Street

Philadelphia

Dear Mrs. Schauffler:-

I thank you very much for the material you sent me and your accompanying letter. I like to ask your advice in one thing which is bothering me at this time.

I received my questionnaire from the Draft Board and filled it out as a conscientious objector.  I have not sent off the questionnaire yet, but I am not going to change this part in it. Do you think there is any possibility for me to ever get the final or even the first papers, when I take such a stand? The affidavit blanks you sent me ask from the affiant to guarantee my support for his lifetime, or until I shall become an American citizen. If there is practically no chance for me to become a citizen, I do not think that I have the right to ask anybody for an affidavit. I talked to the persons who might give me affidavits, and one of them is going to write her attorney about the problem, but I would like to get your opinion and advice about this matter, for you as a Quaker will probably better understand my stand. May I hear from you again?

Sincerely yours,

Thomas Doeppner.

Please show this letter to Miss Thieman.

Memo in AFSC between Marnie Schauffler and Annelise Thieman

Transcription:

Office Memorandum                Date 8-15-41

American Friends Service Committee

To: Annelise Thieman  From: Marnie Schauffler

Subject:

Re: Thomas Doeppner

Is it all right with you to follow my judgment to refer this letter for immediate action to Tom Jones office in Civilian Service, as I feel that he has asked for the judgment of a Quaker on this point, and neither you nor Lynn nor I could advise him appropriately.

handwritten note:

**

I have some hesitations of our committing ourselves too much in this case. He is "half aryan," has his mother in Germany and see letter 4-21-41

Letter from Annelise Thieman to Opa

Transcription:

August 20, 1941.

Mr. Thomas Doeppner,

McPherson College,

McPherson, Kansas.

Dear Thomas Doeppner:

We have your letter of August 10th, addressed to Mrs. Schauffler, inquiring about how to fill out your questionnaire from the draft board. You really must make up your own mind as to what you want to do, because in these matters we cannot give you and advice by letter.

You are correct in assuming that you may expect difficulties in getting your first or final papers. As a matter of fact you cannot become an American citizen if you take the absolute point of view as a C.O. You ought to discuss these matters with a person in whom you have confidence at McPherson, but the final decision you have to make yourself.

We realize that it is difficult be we are sure that you understand our attitude.

Sincerely yours,

Annelise Thieman

Let me begin this post by pointing out something that Annelise and Marjorie missed. Opa was not asking them if he should fill out the form of conscientious objector. He was asking them what the consequences would be, so that he would not unfairly burden those who had signed up to be his affidavit. The people who were signing an affidavit of financial support were pledged (by law) to support him if he needed it for life or until he became a US citizen. He considered that his chances of becoming a US citizen were slim to none, especially and particularly if he made clear his position as a conscientious objector. He wanted them to weigh in, not on his decision, but on the consequences. He anticipated that they would understand his decision because he assumed that they were Quakers.

So here we find out that Marjorie and Annelise are not Quakers. This is not surprising, there are lots of non-profits who employ people who are not of the ideology of the founding group (Catholic Charities for example). Marjorie and Annelise are aware that they cannot respond as Quakers and have integrity with that. They did not know what to do in response to Opa's letter. I think the fact that they inserted the idea that he was questioning whether to be a C.O. or not is telling of what they thought he should do. Marjorie wants to forward the letter to a person who seems to be a Quaker and be able to advise on these matters. Annals has another opinion- and that is that no one should be advising on this matter at all. Her handwritten note (I am assuming it's Annelise's note) points out just how precarious Opa's situation is. He's half-Jewish, his Jewish mother is in Germany, and the letter that was referred to- yeah- that's the German consul who was so graciously reminding Opa of his responsibility to report for duty in the Nazi army. I feel a little bit like Annelise is saying that this whole thing is a hot mess no matter what you do- and to advise at all would be too risky. 

Annals ends up writing Opa back saying that they can't advise him on whether he should be a C.O. (even though he didn't ask that question). She does confirm that if he 100% claims C.O. that he can't become a US citizen. That actually surprised me a little bit, not when I think about it- but that seems unfair that the chance at citizenship for Opa could be denied because he happens to be a male of service age who doesn't want to be in the Army.

Now here is where it gets really interesting and I think about all sorts of things that can't be affirmed because I don't have Opa in front of me today... Let me show you two quotes from Opa's autobiography which was written in 1997, after Opa served in the US Army for almost 30 years:

I was just as sure that if I would ever become involved in the military, it would be  against, not for, the Nazis. 

Let me tell you at the outset that when I finally came to America I went to college; and as soon as I graduated, I volunteered for military service. I am proud to have worn the uniform of an American Officer in our fight against the Nazis.

Here's another tidbit- in conversations with Opa's niece, I would learn that he and she had a strain in their relationship during the Vietnam War. They disagreed about it and that disagreement was hard for them (as I'm sure it was for many family members who were on opposite sides of the argument in that time). The tension eased over time and was not the lasting word on their relationship, but it makes me really wonder what happened between the time of this letter when Opa was unquestioningly a C.O. and when he joined the Army and argued for the Vietnam War. 

Obviously, people change. Obviously, there is no way I can know for certain how things shook out here. I think we'll find out more about what happened and how Opa came to join the military. I have an idea but the letters will give us a more intimate look. 

But here's the thing, in retrospect, Opa completely glossed over his stint as a C.O. He either didn't remember it or forcibly forgot it. Here's where I start guessing about things I don't know anything about. I wonder if Opa felt guilt or shame about his ideals as a young man. Guilt because perhaps he thought his stand was a road-block for his mother coming to the United States. Shame because after 30 years in the military, I can imagine C.O.'s are a thing of severe ridicule.

I wonder if Opa stood so solidly by the US in the wars (in Vietnam and Korea) because to show any questioning meant to question his service, his decision to join. The question would bring back what could have been a painful reminder of a decision he made to be a C.O. which might have cost him and his family time and effort in the immigration process. Maybe remembering his Quaker ideals meant remembering a painful part of his past, his home country that was ripped apart and could not be saved by his ideals. 

I don't really know - and maybe there was nothing there except that we don't remember our changing views as we grow up. I do find this very compelling though, I can't quite put my finger on it. 

I understand Opa's dilemma in the sense that I get what it feels like to take a stand and yet wonder if now is the time that it is important to make that stand. In this situation, as I am right now, I think I would have lied. I would have filled the form out the way it needed to be and hoped that my sacrifice of my principles was worth it. Anni Halle wrote about this in her book "Our Thoughts Are Free" - she was a Quaker in Nazi Germany and she and her family worked tirelessly against the Nazi regime. But they would throw out a Heil Hitler salute when necessary. She called it being wise as serpents. Because they were able to keep helping people if they did enough to keep the target off their own backs. 

This sounds like justification, but unless you've been in these absolute life and death situations, I think it is unfair to make theoretical judgments. In philosophy classes we would talk about a lot of these worst-case scenarios when you have to put your moral choices to test. If it is NEVER OK to lie, then you are forced with the situation when the Nazis come to the door and ask if you have a family hiding in your basement. In that case- to me- I say lie your silly head off. But that's just me right now. 

People change. Views change. I guess it's important to give ourselves space and grace to do that. And remember where we came from and recognize that we might be going somewhere different than what we expect.

August 3, 1941: Remember Hanna's Birthday!

Letter from Ella to Opa 

Translation:

Tom Döppner

1119 Kearny

Manhattan Kansas

Berlin-Charlottenburg 4
August 3rd, 1941

Droysenstr. 14

My beloved child, Today just a short note, so you won't be without news from me. My present situation has not changed, it is very hard to get new pupils now. And it is questionable if my outstanding claims will be paid at any time now. I would feel terrible if I would have to borrow money, although it has been offered to me from several parties in a loving way. Hopefully it will work out without help from anybody. I can manage for two more months, without the money from my former students, and then perhaps I will find  something.  

Tilli is coming tomorrow, I don't know for how long; in any case I am looking forward to her visit. I received news from Patti through Emmi Haupt. She (Patti) studies in Lyon now. Her parents-in-law bought them furniture, and they are happy in their own home now. You can imagine how I am longing to see them both in their happiness. And how for you, my beloved boy. I know you are doing all you can, so I can come to you. Nothing can be done from here, everything has to be handled from there. Have you contacted the State Department and submitted my papers? Write about any prospects.

I am waiting for your letter from Manhattan. My boy is now totally on his own. But you will go your way, my beloved Hunschen.

I kiss  you much!
Your Mama

(Small note on top of the page:)
Remember Hanna's birthday is on September 10th

Ella is diligent in writing to her son even if there isn't much to report. She knows that no news is not good news, and wants to keep her son from worry and stay connected. 

Opa has now moved to Manhattan, Kansas, to attend Kansas State University and finally get his degree in Engineering. McPherson College is behind him, but always in his heart. 

Ella still has few pupils, and for some reason she now suspects her previous ones will be unable to pay her. I don't really understand why that is the case. She seems to have some emergency savings, and I'm sure that's to live very frugally. She is so hesitant to accept help or loans from anyone, she's so fiercely independent. It's interesting because Opa's book talks about how she was plagued with migraines and suffered depression after her mother died, but he doesn't quite capture how insanely strong she is and how self-sufficient she had to be. He does speak of how kind and loving she was, and I don't think anyone can doubt that.

Patti has moved to Lyon and has furniture thanks to her in-laws (a random detail). It seems Ella's communication with Patti is limited still (she mentioned before they communicated through red cross letters).

Ella still holds out hope that Opa can do something for her from America. Has he told her? There seems to be no possibility on his end either. He's barely a legal resident himself.

I love when Ella writes that Opa is on his own completely, and yet in two lines reminds him of his cousin Hanna's birthday. Ha. She can't help herself. Even as she is living on the last of her money, she has the presence of mind to remind her son of a family birthday coming up.

August 1, 1941: Shape-Shifting Immigration Law

Letter from Marjorie Page Schauffler of AFSC to Opa

Transcription:

August 1st, 1941

Mr. Thomas Doeppner.

McPherson College.

McPherson, Kansas.

Dear Thomas Doeppner:

Miss Thieman asked me to take up with you the matter of your pre-examination procedure as soon as the new developments regarding visa application arising out of regulations instituted July 1st should be clarified.

While we do not yet advise that you should under any conditions leave the country for the immediate present, we believe that it is now possible for you to proceed with the first steps toward your change of status.

It is now necessary, before requesting pre-examination from Mr. Salisbury on the Form I-55 which you filled out in consultation with Miss Thieman, to send to the Visa Division of the State Department a biographical statement and two affidavits of support on required forms issued by the State Department July 1st in connection with their new visa application procedure. We are enclosing work sheets of these three forms (Form "B" and two Form "C") together with a description of procedure by the State Department (Form "A") and an informal instruction sheet of our own.

When the affiants have completed these work sheets, please have them returned to us for review, we will then mail them the official forms for final completion with any suggestions which may seem wise. We will be glad to forward the completed copies to the State Department with a covering letter from our Committee.

When the State Department approves the affidavits, they inquire from whatever Consul you indicate as the one whom you wish to consult whether there is a quota number available for you. If so, they will inform us of approval of papers and at that point you submit to Mr. Salisbury the pre-examination request which you have already prepared and which we shall hold in them meantime.

While we cannot guarantee that there will be no change in this procedure as outline above, we know that the affidavits will be required and believe it will save time to proceed with the preparations of them at once.

Very sincerely yours,

(Mrs.) Marjorie Page Schauffler

This letter goes a long way to show two things: 1) Immigration law is a shape-shifting beast that everyone has to figure out how to tame every time it changes colors; and 2) The arbitrary nature of the shape shifter requires groups like the AFSC and other non-profits to help people navigate the system. If you ever wondered why or if these groups help, this letter should be a good indicator of why immigrants today and yesterday need this help. It's complicated stuff.

I have a friend who works for the federal government, and I have learned so much from her. Policy change is very impactful. If we aren't directly affected by it, we could be completely unaware of a major shift in how things work. But by what she tells me of the amount of preparation and discussion that goes into the every day work of a federal employee- there is constant work to keep up or ahead of the changes. The rules may suddenly change and then it is up to the agency to make up the new forms and paperwork to reflect the change. Then the folks like the AFSC have to retrain themselves on how to use the new forms, how to best prepare their clients for successful integration. 

Meanwhile, it's all up for interpretation. It's largely arbitrary. So really what is happening is that the culture shifts and the agency has to print that shift in legal forms and the non-profits have to find the right pitch to make sure their people still have a chance. It's just bizarre.

Opa's path to permanent residency has shifted once again, and while the full course has not been illuminated, the folks at AFSC are confident that he can at least get started. So now he needs two affidavits and to consider the possibility that he may need to leave the country in the future. 

I did find out about that bill that Annelise was talking about in the last letter. She called it the Smith bill, and it was supposed to provide a path for immigrants to shift from temporary to permanent visas without leaving the country. I emailed my trusty librarian friends at the Holocaust museum and not surprisingly, I received a well-documented answer almost immediately. The short version: there was a bill, and it never made it. I think by this point in August it was already dead. 

So today: make a contribution to your local museum, library, archive, refugee non-profit. Or at the very least go hug a historian. We need their expertise. 

July 30, 1941: My Only Joy

Letter from Ella to Opa

Translation:

Bln. Charl. 4, 30.7.41

Droysenstr. 14

My beloved boy,

I have been without news from you for such an awful long time. Your last letter was of June 16th, the one before from May 23rd. I assume the mail has gotten lost, since we had agreed to write once every week. Hunschen, you have to keep to that, your mail is my only joy. From Patti I receive news only through the Red Cross, from Papa have not heard for one year, then 3 weeks ago a letter arrived, which was actually pretty nice. Papa still has his old optimism. I know how difficult it is now for me to come to you, but I cling to the smallest possibility, and always tell myself my Hunschen does everything he can to accomplish it. It must go fast now, my boy. I just cannot believe that I won't see both of you again.  

Where might you be now?(cannot read the next word) Doing road-construction? Building houses? Harvesting? I imagine you in different places, doing different kinds of work, always with that longing to be there with you, helping you, taking care of you and loving you. When does your new semester in Manhattan start? Don't forget to send me your new address. I already received a birthday letter from Rose. She says, she did not get a reply to the birthday wishes she sent to you.  Please Hunschen, stay in contact with her, she is a very reliable person. Have you written to our Herting in the meantime? I sent you the address.  

Not much has happened since your last letter. I still cannot accept the fact, that I have lost my beloved occupation and livelihood. Right now we are still on holidays, so it is very hard to find new pupils. I still have 2 former ones, but that is not enough, hopefully it will get better soon. All my friends are very worried (touchingly) about me, as I wrote in detail in my last letter to you. I just hope it won't be necessary to enlist their help. Tomorrow is Annchen's birthday, I will be with her for lunch and go home in the afternoon. I don't even want to think of my birthday, I requested that nobody  will come to visit. I don't want to be with many people, it is all so very sad. Next week I will go and see Mrs. Halle. The boys will be on a trip, and I will help her to mend socks.

When you go to Shelley’s always say hello for me. When I am not so depressed anymore I will write to them. In your letters is always a lot about your stay with them, about this outrageously pretty girl Leila and also Hubert, which you have never mentioned to me before. Did you meet Shelley’s through Hubert or the cousin, Hunschen what was her name? Fairly early you wrote that you made a car trip with a student to visit her relatives, was that Shelley’s? Have you heard from Ellenruth? I think she is on the best way to destroy her whole life. If only one could help her. But everybody has to live through their own experiences. You know I like her very much, and regret that everything had to happen like that. I now understand, that because of the kind of home life she had, she became so insecure (unrestrained). 

(cannot read the next 2 lines) and thank him for his kind words. I asked Aunt Berta to come to me, I really want to talk to her. (She means have a heart to heart) She wanted to come before, but I felt so hopeless and begged her not to travel then, but now I am doing a little better. Tilli's birthday is on August 13th. If you would write to her, it would make her happy. You can add it to the letter to me, and I will send it to her. I wonder if Annchen will have mail from you tomorrow. Papa had the picture of Patti and Maurice enlarged. One for Annchen and one for me. You can imagine how delighted I was! He also wants to enlarge a picture of you, so I will send him one.

Write soon, my beloved boy.
I kiss you very much.
Your Mama

Not much has changed for Ella. Her despair remains, although she tries to hide it just a bit more in this letter. She urges Opa to keep writing her frequently, as his mail is her only joy. I didn't realize that Patti could no longer write, but that their correspondence is now just red cross letters. I've seen these - they are like postcards but with even less space to write. And you cannot write much more other than "I'm well; the weather is nice." without the censors throwing it away. August is not dependable as he write once in a blue moon. Opa's letters are all Ella gets from her family.

Ella acknowledges that the way to the United States is impossibly narrow, but has hope that Opa will keep trying for any possibility. This line: "I just cannot believe that I won't see both of you again." Not only can she not believe it, she refuses to. She knows logically that it may be true, but she just won't believe it. Her tenacity even in the face of her own despair is inspiring if not also heartbreaking.

For Ella, it's always about her children. Her joy and sorrow is wrapped up in their welfare and her ability to be with them. You know, in a society with options and opportunities, I might say she should try to do something for herself or find her identity outside of her children, but she doesn't live in that society.  She lives in survival mode, and for her, survival is nothing without the promise of being with her children.

She asks Opa about what he is doing now, what kind of work he's doing. She chastises him a little (passively) for not writing to his relatives or wishing them a proper happy birthday (or thanking them for their birthday greetings). 

Ella returns to her misfortune of losing her livelihood, it seems she hasn't been able to pick up enough students yet. She is going to celebrate Annchen's birthday, but has no desire to celebrate her own (August 4th- just two days before mine!). She then mentions mending socks with Anni and Gisela's mom. She's just so sad! She doesn't know what to do with herself!

I hope Opa has written her a few letters, letting her know he is well and fed and warm and happy. If nothing else- maybe she can find joy in his happiness. How difficult it must have been for him. On the one hand, his mother was in serious danger and he had been her only real hope of leaving Germany. On the other hand, she is his mother- and to have her still telling him what to do (and who to write) from thousands of miles away must still have annoyed him. And then there is her unusual despair. Did he feel burdened by it? What kind of pressure did he feel when she told him his mail was her only joy? It might have been a guilt trip- but the boy better write.

July 15, 1941: Ella Breaking

Letter from Ella to Opa

Translation:

Tom Döppner

McPherson College

McPherson, Kansas

Bln. Charl. 4, 15.VII.41

Droysenstrasse 14

My very beloved boy,

Hopefully you have not been too worried, to be without news from me for such a long time.  I have not been well, for the very first time  I lost my nerve totally. It was very difficult for me to lose my beloved livelihood from one day to the next. In my last letter I wrote to you how much I enjoyed every lesson and every pupil, now suddenly everything came to an end. For a few days I was in total despair, not seeing a way out, now I am still terribly depressed. Even though I should be happy to have so many good friends, from all sides help is almost forced unto me.

Luckily I will be ok for a while, and I hope soon I will have enough to do again to be able to manage on my own. I already have 2 pupils. Now is an unfavorable time for me, it is vacation time, and there are many difficulties with many emigrations. Hunschen, I want you to thank all who offered to help me as well, especially Frank’s, Luz and Mrs. Ruhst, also Annchen. If I can collect the outstanding fees for my June lessons, I will be ok for a while.

It pleases me that you celebrated your birthday so nicely, I already replied to your letter of May 23rd. Then the next one came, dated June 16th, also a letter from Mrs, Shelley for which I am very grateful, I will answer her soon. From Patti's girlfriend I heard that she (Patti) does not get news from you. Why is that? Write to that child. She seems to be very happy. I had a nice letter from Papa. He seems to be doing fairly well.  

Hunschen, what is going on with my situation in coming to you? Hunschen, you should try to get a visa for me straight from the State Department in Washington, since the consulate here is not in operation anymore. But I don't know about the conditions there.

Hunschen, please find out very soon. I want so much to be with one of you two. Since 11 years, I have for the first time nothing to do, or almost nothing. My household profits from that, I do lots of good cleaning, but cannot keep the worries away, and that is not good for me. Last week Grete was here, she lives in Lichterfelde, I visited twice, one time for dinner. I tried to be of use, helping her to mend socks. Anni is not at home, she is taking a little vacation trip
and sent a card to me and Gis. She wrote she had sent greetings to you also. I think Gis likes you especially much.

Hunschen, have you not taken on too much, like the work at the library. You cannot, for your life, do all those translations. German, French and Dutch, I believe you can do, but I think your knowledge in the other languages is not sufficient. I believe I know more than you, but I would never attempt it. Do write, though, whether that goes forward.

I’m so glad you’re having such a nice time at the Shelleys’ again. I would like to be there. I didn’t know Mrs. Shelley was a colleague of mine, so to speak. I can imagine how nice it is to have the daughter of a student as a dear guest. The fact that you unashamedly find her pretty is an indication that she is nice to you, and so I hope you have a nice time together.

It was a great, great joy for me when the letter from the president of your college arrived, in which he praised you so highly, and it’s not just him who is so full of praise; he writes: we – and I take that to mean the other professors too. Did he actually get my letter? I think our letters must have crossed each other [in the mail]. That would be noteworthy: first people don’t write to each other for two years, and then at basically the same time. Hunschenjung, did you by chance receive a small present from Ellenruth for your birthday? She wrote that she sent something, but you haven’t mentioned anything about it. Or did a letter from between May 23 and June 16 get lost? I even thought you would have spoken to Ellenruth. She drove from New York to Los Angeles; she would have passed right by you. If so, I’d be interested in what kind of impression her Fred(?) made on you.

Hopefully this letter reaches you before too long, for the moment I’m still writing to your old address. What is the new position that Mr. Schwalm is taking? He seems to be a wonderful person. Hopefully they will show just as much interest in you at the new college? Yesterday I was at the Löwes’. It was Richard’s birthday, and since they didn’t have any other company, I went over for a little bit. They send their greetings.

Write to me soon and a lot, my beloved boy! I’ve been missing your [plural] letters a lot just now. I kiss my beloved boy!

Yours, Mama

Aunt Martha tells you hello. Will you remember that Ellenruth's birthday is on August 15th? Do you have something small to send to her?

Ella is uncharacteristically vulnerable with Opa about how she is emotionally and financially. There seems to have been a fall-out for her as far as her livelihood is concerned. As a jewish woman, she is severely limited in her ability to support herself. She has been tutoring privately for income. Something happened where she says that she lost her beloved livelihood from one day to the next. I am confused about what happened, and why this happened so suddenly. 

The only thing that I can work out is this: the closing of the German and Italian consulates in the United States. Ella's last letter was in June, on the day that FDR announced the closing of the consulates to be effective in July. I think I was talking to a family member about this letter and we hypothesized that most of Ella's students were people who were preparing to leave for the United States and were being tutored in English. Once they no longer had the possibility of leaving, they no longer felt the need to pay for tutoring. This is a pretty good guess and would explain Ella's despair as it not only closed a door in her hopes of emigrating, but it also could have potentially wiped out the demand for her tutoring services. In the end, it's just a guess, I'm not sure if that was what happened. 

I kind of love Ella's wit even in sync with her despair. She was depressed, but grateful: "Even though I should be happy to have so many good friends, from all sides help is almost forced unto me." Ella hates not being self-sufficient. Whatever happened has made her even more dependent on others, and it drives her nuts. She turns a hopeful tune and says perhaps she will recoup some students, though it is summer time and emigration everywhere is hard. 

The next part would make me very nervous if I were Opa. She asks him to thank people who helped her... and those people are her neighbor, his aunt, and others who live in Germany. What's that about? Why can't she thank them herself? Where does she think she's going? This part made me very nervous for Ella. This is a strange request followed by an unusual show of despair. What is happening?! 

Then, as if a light flipped on, her tone completely shifts for the rest of the letter where she talks happily about his birthday and the family and chides Opa into writing everyone more. She even puts in a nice "I think Gisela likes you." Grete is Grete Stumpf, one of the Quaker women in leadership who helped people like Ella, mostly keeping them connected to a community of people who cared when they couldn't help them immigrate. 

Ella talks about Ellenruth, her niece (Opa's first cousin) and asks if he received a gift from her. Later she encourages him to write her and send her a little gift for her upcoming birthday. I recently visited Ellenruth's daughter in Seattle, where I saw the pictures from her trek across the US from New York to LA. I don't think they stopped by to see Opa, but at the time I'm not sure they were really in touch (despite how much Ella seemed to be trying to get them to communicate). Fred is actually Alfred, or Allie as they later called him. This was Ellenruth's husband at the time, and her daughter's father. A side note, Ellenruth's parents were mortified that Ellenruth was with him (he was much older than she) and that she left a good job in New York to travel west with him. I wonder if Ella is trying to get the scoop on Fred and see if he's as bad as her sister makes him out to be.

Also- randomly- August wrote to Ella? She has never mentioned a letter directly from him and actually complained that he didn't write. And here we have Opa's letters- and August is silent starting in May 1940. What's that about?

The last half of the letter is completely different from the first half... it's as if she sat down to write and then returned later when she was in better spirits. But the first half must have haunted Opa in a way. Ella usually qualifies her despair saying that things will work out- this letter doesn't have quite the same tone to it. She urges Opa to see if he can't get her a visa right from Washington (which he does not live near at all). Her desperation is apparent. What does Opa do? It has to be torture to watch Ella breaking.

July 7, 1941: Everything Changes in Wartime

Letter from Annelise Thieman of AFSC to Opa

Transcription:

July 7, 1941.

Mr. Thomas Doeppner,

McPherson College,

McPherson, Kansas.

My dear Mr. Doeppner:--

We have received your letter of June 28th with the attached questionnaire which I am not yet returning because we have to look it through very carefully and at the present time there is no urgency in your returning it to Mr. Salisbury. However, there are quite a number of questions which you will want to answer differently and more correctly, and I shall send you these papers as soon as we have had time to go through them.

As you probably know, the whole affidavit procedure has not only changed, but also the regulations about change of status. In other words you know that no Germans (and in spite of the fact that you once had a Dutch passport you are still considered a German) are permitted to leave the United States at the present time. That includes persons who want to change their status from temporary to permanent immigrant, just as well as any other German, therefore for the time being the procedure of changing status is stopped. There is a bill pending in Congress which would be very helpful in case it should go through, and that is the "Smith Bill" which suggests that reliable persons in this country on temporary status should be enabled to change their status without leaving the country. However there is also reason to feel that this bill may be defeated and I am just telling you this for what it is worth.

Please tell the lady who might be planning to give an affidavit for you not to prepare these papers yet, because the new forms will be issued by the State Department (although they are not yet published) and in case you would use the old forms it would have to be done all over again. As soon as we have the new affidavit forms we shall forward them to you, but at the present time there is no hurry about anything.

As to the question about your "first papers" I think we will take that up with you at such a time as you are applying for them, and not now. It certainly would be unwise to take the stand of a "conscientious-objector" under the circumstances in which you find yourself at the present time. However, you ought to take the difficulties as they arise, and therefore there is no hurry or need to worry about that now. As far as your mother's situation goes I am afraid we will have to be rather skeptical. The new regulations of the State Department regarding the admission of aliens excludes everybody from admission who still would leave close relatives abroad, that is, in Germany or German controlled countries. However, many clarifications will be needed in the present immigration procedure before one can say anything definite abut it.

As soon as we have had time to go over your papers, we shall send them back to you. This is just to tell you not to rush anything at the moment, because nothing can be done.

Very sincerely,

Annelise Thieman.

Your letter of 7-5 with the good news just arrived - be sure to apply for a new extension in August! 

There's a lot of information in this letter. I think the thing it highlights best is the constant changing and morphing of immigration law in war time, and how that affected people like Opa and his mother. It also shows just how on top of it the folks had to be at the American Friends Service Committee (AFSC) and other refugee placement agencies. Annelise says that Opa doesn't need to hurry, and it has nothing to do with the urgency of his or his mother's situation (which is fairly urgent), but the fact that they know everything is about to change, so they have to wait for the new forms to roll out and start all over again with a new strategy.

Annelise advises Opa not to worry about his concerns with the conscientious objector thing. It's very much a "cross that bridge when you come to it" and "you have more pressing things to worry about." 

I tried to look up the Smith's bill, and while I found something it was about an anti-strike bill, so I may have to dig deeper (or see if the immigration thing got slapped onto a larger unrelated bill). If it did pass, the papers will likely show us later.

As for Ella, things are not looking good for her chances to immigrate. The German consulates are closed in America. Opa is not allowed to leave the country (which I'm sure he doesn't really mind at the moment). But for Ella, another policy stands in her way. As Annelise presents it: Germans are not allowed to immigrate if they leave close family behind in Germany. There are a handful of ways this policy might have come to be... most of my dreamt up reasons don't stand to logic. I thought, maybe America is nervous about German spies reporting home to their family? But last I checked, spies usually report home to the government. Or a liaison to the government. Either way, couldn't you just be super mean and censor their mail? Seems less mean than not letting them immigrate on the off-chance they're spies. (And since when do folks immigrate and then immediately have access to high-level military information?) Ok so maybe the reasoning is that these other family members could and should take in their relatives who are at risk. This of course is a bit ridiculous as many of the folks who are looking to leave (the refugee portion) are leaving because they are Jewish- and none of their jewish relatives are safe or can protect them. I can't figure it out. Again- another thing to research, but I may never figure it out completely. The thing Annelise does allude to is that the immigration law is (as always) subject to translation, so consuls might interpret those guidelines in various ways. 

Regardless, Opa is stuck (happily) with a temporary reprieve on his haste to figure out his visa. Ella's fate, on the other hand, seems to be tangled deeper into the jungle of Nazi Germany, and it is a matter of how long she can remain hidden in plain view of her oppressors.

This letter made me sad the first time I read through it. Then as I did research, I found myself becoming numb to the reality before me. I wonder if that's how Opa felt. None of the news lately has been good for his mother. There was a short time of optimism when he had an affidavit, when there was some shining possibility that he could request her or her number would be up soon. Then the affidavit wasn't good enough, Opa's visa not secure enough, the consulates closed. Things started closing up and the light began to flicker. We're used to the bad news now and wouldn't trust good news if it appeared. Did Opa become numb in his necessity to accept the inevitable? That his mother was not going to make it to the United States? That there was nothing he could do? Now his only goal was to keep himself safe and keep knocking on that padlocked door, just in case. His goal was to keep writing, keep hoping for her, not in belief that she would be able to leave Germany, but in that buoyant emotion that keeps people alive when nothing looks good. 

When is that moment when Opa and Ella both know she won't make it to America? This could be it.