I would have loved to answer to your last letter, but I was afraid, that you might have left already, before it got there, and that seemed too dangerous to me. But you will meet people in Pyrmont, who can help better than I.
Your preference for Mysticism honestly surprises me. Perhaps you are correct, one needs hours (time) which will lead us into another beautiful world, but is that not the same as getting drunk? One gets drunk on alcohol, the other on worlds of dreams, the other of hope of mystical fulfillment. All of it amounts to the same: "escape from reality!" Do you know "SIDDHARTHA" by Hermann Hesse? He was a young Indian, who looking for knowledge comes to the Ascetics, learns all the exercises for abstinence, the insensitivity to pain, etc. but later moves on, because he saw this as an escape from earthly suffering and joy, to which an Ascetic tries to make himself unfeeling. Naturally it is too human to try such an escape, but shouldn't one, if at all possible, try to bear it?
Especially the mystic comes to us early, we need not to go forward to it. (Sadly enough I did, and now regret it a bit!) The two worlds you are talking about have nothing to do with each other, they are beautifully connected with each other, need each other, to jointly form a person. However the most important is the individuality, the own self and beliefs, because only in one’s self can one find the way, can discover the source, or even become it, which can radiate from there. And again, can radiate from within, not by way of examples, or some information, but in an invisible and not noticeable way, I don't know, somehow. (Perhaps a mystic way?)
Why are things different at your house with Anni there? I cannot imagine her that way, even less, that she feels hopeless and cannot see a reason for living. Does that have something to do with her illness?
I now have my French Visa, the passport should arrive during the next week, maybe it will come soon. I don't know if I can leave right away, it depends on the situation here now. There is not too much of a hurry since the semester starts in November, but naturally it would be good to be there before, to learn French. The America thing (plan) I will of course continue, because I will never be allowed to work in France.
How are things in Pyrmont? Are you part of the annual gathering? You can hardly imagine how I would love to be there, but that is absolutely impossible. I rejoice like a child whenever somebody from the group passes through here, even if it is only Hilde Weiher, last month. In my mind [heart] I am marching in your rows with you.
Heartfelt greeting to you and the group
Is Mr. W. also in Pyrmont?