Letter from Opa to Grandmother, October 17, 1944.
Transcription:
The folks left this p.m., and we had a very nice visit. Last night, I didn't get to see them till a little past nine, and since I had to make bed check at eleven, my time with them was rather limited. I was very glad that I got to see them, for I feel now a little better acquainted with them. They invited me for dinner today, but I didn't think I could be there on account of the fact that we have only one hour lunch time, that the Service Club is one mile away from my barracks, and that I am not supposed to leave the company area between reveille and retreat anyhow. However, it so happened that during the a.m. I got a dental appointment for 2 o'clock; so I could find time at least to see them off on the bus, which left at 1:10pm.
Philip really took them around. He had the car of some lady here on the campus and showed them all over the place. It had been the first time in an army camp for both your mother and father, so I guess they got a big kick out of it.
Honey, your mother told me you had to spend the night in Leavenworth after our last meeting. Did you miss the bus, or what happened? Tell me about it, will you? I remember now that you never wrote to me how you did get home that night, and when.
What do you think of this letter of Winton's? It certainly is too bad that I did not get to see him before he is leaving. He is a strange guy; I don't know whether I am glad about his engagement or not, for even his letter indicates that he will be very selfish even in his married life. I feel very sorry for Peggy; Winton is and can be very charming, but he also can be extremely arrogant and often loses his temper. Also, I fear that the fact that he is being loved was too strong a motive in this engagement. I wished I knew Peggy.
Well, darling, I guess we can plan tentatively on a week from this coming Saturday. The trouble is that I don't get off till after retreat, i.e. six p.m. The last train for Kansas City leaves at 5:35p.m., so we cannot meet then. Could you get the Saturday off? In that case, you could either leave so that you can catch the Missouri Southern out of K.C. at 730a.m., which gets here at 11:59 (noon), and spend the afternoon with Phil, or you could come on the same bus as your folks did, which gets to Joplin at about 6p.m. There are always buses from Joplin to Camp Crowder. I could meet you in Joplin but it is difficult to get hotel reservations there while you can always stay in the guest house here at camp. Think it over and let me know soon what you want to do. Also, it may not be weekend after next but the following one; that depends on my company commander and on the fact that there are others who may want a pass at the same time. Anyhow, we can settle everything else and leave just the date open. I can hardly wait for the day when I can see you again, hold you in my arms, kiss you, and talk things over with you.
The strangest thing happened. One of our platoon lieutenants looked extremely familiar to me, and he seemed to recognize me too without being able to place me. Finally, we found out: he is, or rather was, one of my Signal Corps pre-Radar students. Quite a coincident, isn't it? Now he is teaching me. He is a swell guy and makes an excellent officer.
Today in the morning, we had some rather dry lectures. It is a little discouraging for me to see those lieutenants go over everything hundreds of times to get it down to grade school level, and I am getting awfully impatient with the slowness of progress. But, there are guys in our platoon who are dumber than I even expected a person could be. This basic is the nursery school of the Army. Then, we had an hour of drill. That part I usually like; don't know why, probably because of the great amount of rhythm in it. Can you believe that there are guys in our platoon who have to hold a piece of gravel or such-like in their left hand so they can tell where "left" is? Well, there actually are some.
In the afternoon, after seeing your folks off and sipping a cup of coffee with Philip, I went to the dentist. I was lucky in getting a doctor who apparently knew his business very well; today he filled two cavities, and Saturday I have to go back for some more treatment. I got out of the clinic by three thirty, but somehow or other, it was close to five when I got back to my company. Naturally, that got me out of calisthenics. Too bad, ain't it?
When are our wedding pictures going to be ready? Do you think it would do any good if you wrote to Wolff about it? I am terribly anxious to see them. Also, Rog ought to have his pictures ready by now. Did we ever pay him for them?
It's getting late and I need some sleep, haven't had much lately. So long, honey, and write me a real long letter.
Lots of love,
Tom.
P.S. Please return Winton's letter.
Opa got some time with the in-laws, a novel thing that he seems laissez-faire about despite the fact that not too long ago they didn't attend the wedding. Something must have eased out. I'm wondering if it was just the sheer fact that it was a done deal, combined with (what I hope were) good reports from Phillip (Grandmother's brother who just happened to be stationed at the same camp). Seriously, that's some good luck for Opa. Opa seems to be confident and the in-laws seem to be cordial, so, that's nice.
As for the rest of the letter, my husband Jason said to me: "hey, you didn't inherit your grandfather's teeth genes." I am notorious for bragging about my good teeth. I'm not even kidding, but when you have as many genetic mishaps as I do- you take pride in the one that went right. NO cavities, ever. In Opa's defense, I told Jason that he did grow up in post WW1 Germany when bread lines and rations were a thing. I doubt he got a great start for his teeth. Now that he's in the Army, he's getting ALLLLL the dental. The same thing happened to Jason when he decided to skip out on dental care after college, through his two years of teaching and through three years of seminary. Our first year of marriage, and his first year in a while of dental health care coverage, he had a LOT of dental procedures. It still cost a bunch despite this "coverage."
Opa is being a little snooty in this letter. But I gotta be honest, this isn't a shock to me, he was always a little bit of an intellectual snob. Education was always a big deal for him, his family, and consequently mine. My Grandmother was the same, although maybe more tactful about it when she encountered folks who weren't as "smart" as she was. Think about it though, she was a female born in the 1920s, currently working on a master's degree. From Kansas. She was not typical. I think Opa had his moments when he was humbled by his own intellectual shortcomings, but overall he was used to being one of the smarter people in the room.
Writing this I actually just thought about the fact that he had Alzheimer's at the end of his life. Opa's posture and pride in being an intellectual made all of us worry about how much he would struggle and get frustrated when his own mind betrayed him. By some miracle, he was quite calm and accepting of his condition, and worked to do what he could and let go of what he couldn't. We all said he became almost child-like and sweet, still him, but a child-like version of him. When I read his earlier letters, full of wonder and philosophical expositions, I see some of that same child-like quality.
Opa talks a little gossipy about their friend Winton and his new serious relationship. At first I thought he was being a bit much, but doesn't that come with the marriage territory? Who else will you talk shit about your best friends with? I'll forgive Opa because I'm pretty sure he didn't think anyone but Grandmother would see this letter, and I don't know Winton, maybe he was a little hot-headed.
I still marvel at how little Grandmother and Opa saw each other in the beginning of their marriage. I think the reason they survived at all is that they were both working on something, they both had goals, and they supported each other in those goals. It was a very egalitarian marriage!
